THE FUNERAL

by D.W. Groethe            illustrated A-10 Etcheverry

 

A local old timer had quietly passed on
To his eternal reward up on high,
So the day of his service a bunch of us gathered
To give him a final goodbye.

As we entered the church we doffed off our hats,
Signed the book on the stand by the door,
Kinda moseyed on over to see Bud one last time
As he lay in his funeral repose.

We all gandered once and then twice and again
'Cause somethin' was plenty amiss.
We stood scratchin' our heads when finally Ed
Says, "Does anyone know who this is?"

A round of "Not me's !" flurried out past the lips
Of the crew that was gathered nearby
An' without no exceptions the prevaling perception
Was that none of us knew this here guy!

Then Chuck up and says, "I don't think Bud
Even owned a suit an' a tie!
As long as I knew him he always wore bibs,
Blue of a generous size!

"An' you boys all know as well as I do
Bud wouldn't be caught dead with no cap.
An' need I point out this fella is bald!
Just a few scraggly hairs on his tap!"

"He's right!" Harley pipes, "Take a close look.
Why, this fella don't even chew snoose!
Check out that the tie an' the front of his shirt -
Ain't got even one speckle o' juice!"

"Whoa!" we all nodded, thinkin', "son of a gun!"
Still we hung in there for coffee and pie.
But out on the prairie at that ol' cemetery
We all knew they buried the wrong guy!

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